I am an upstanding, law-abiding citizen now; but I have a checkered past with various run-ins with “law enforcement.” I”d like to share a couple of stories from my past that I hope will help others avoid making the same mistakes that I did.

The first occurred in my senior year of high school. I was just a young kid who thought he could get away with anything. It was spring break, and I was headed to South Padre Island to party. The trip down is a little over 750 miles so we decided to break the trip up with a stop in San Antonio. We didn”t make a reservation for the night, so we started off the stay with a drive around the city looking for a room for the evening. Since it was spring break that turned out to be quite a big undertaking. After driving back and forth across the entire city, we finally found a small motel which had yet to its “NO” in front of vacancy. With room secured, we decided to explore a little bit of what the city had to offer; and this is where my menacing look came out to haunt me.

Evening had come, and we grabbed a bite to eat at a restaurant which faced the river walk; from there we decided to walk around to see the sights. Now for those of you familiar with the area, you know that the river walk flows into the Riverwalk Mall. It is a very cool concept and place. It was in this mall that I decided to cause a little trouble. We came upon a Sharper Image store, and what guy can resist going in to look at their completely unnecessary and completely overpriced gadgets? After all the walking, I had the audacity to sit in one of those recliners that have the heat and massage option. I was in the chair for about a minute when a member of the Lazy Boy police approached me. Apparently I looked like I was about to start a riot from the seat in which I was perched. I was tapped on the shoulder and directed to look at a sign next to the seat which read, “you must be 18 to sit in this chair.” My insistence that I was 18 was not enough for him to call of the investigation. He overplayed his hand and demanded to see my id. I handed him my drivers license which he didn”t question as a fake ID and let me off with a warning. As much as he denied it, I always suspected my buddy in obvious need for a laugh called the fuzz down on me.


The next incident happened a few years later, but I wasn”t the main culprit. I was just an accessory to the crime as it were. One of my good buddies and I flew across the country to go to a concert. Only I was the only one of the two of us who bought my ticket ahead of time. When we arrived, he went to the gate to buy his ticket only to be turned away at the window because the show had sold out. We waited around for what seemed like forever for scalpers to show up. When someone with an extra ticket did come, he informed us that it was the venue”s very strict policy to not allow ticket transfers. As he ushered us around the corner, I couldn”t help but feel that I was about to be involved in some back alley drug deal. Just as the illegal exchange of ticket and funds was being made, the swat team swarmed in lead by roller cop. A security cop in a wheelchair with about 5 or 6 others in tow and immediately resorted to police brutality as he repeatedly rammed his chair into the back of my friends leg to get his attention. This event took place at Walt Disney World, and I was certain we were going to Disney prison the longer the shakedown wore on. After they had confiscated all of the nice man”s tickets, they finally let us go on our way. I”ll never forget what happened in that alley next to the monorail; I”m thankful I still have my freedom.

So there you have it; with these two incidents and many more in my repertoire, I discovered I was not fit for a life of crime.

8 Responses to “Runins”

  1. You bad.

    Although, it could be fun to see a Disney prison on an episode of “Locked up Abroad.” At least you’d have all those colorful characters to sing and dance while you were in there.

  2. Angi says:

    Gosh, Phil, I didn’t know you were such a felon!! If you ever need bail, just let me know.

  3. And the song “I fought the law and the law won” was heard across the land! 😉

  4. floyd says:

    I didn’t know I was consorting with known thugs and criminals… I feel a little more at home now!